(Warning: This is more of a long rant than an actual post)

If you are a professional working in a city like Hyderabad (or Bangalore for that matter), you would be well aware of the fact that shifting your apartment is an infinitely unpleasant experience. Be that as it may, I had it the silver lining of “it’s all going to be over soon” in mind when I started house-hunting.

Except that, things had turned infinitely worse, compared to the last time I had to shift (which was four years ago). Real-estate brokers, for example, had taken professionalism to a whole new level. This is about one such particularly clever broker.

After what must have been six weeks of meeting brokers of all shapes and sizes and visiting numerous crappy overpriced apartments, I received a call from a certain Mr. Khan from MagicBricks.com. I had registered myself at this portal, which claims to be “India’s No. 1 Property Site”. I had also given my contact information along with my criteria of apartments I wanted for rent. So, when Mr. Khan explained to me, in impeccable English, that he had at least six apartments within my budget and in the localities I was looking for, I was delighted. He also explained that should I end up not liking any of those, he would continue to present apartments as an when they become available, until I was satisfied enough. Finally, a true professional in an industry chock-a-block with cheats wanting to make a quick buck!

I promptly set up a meeting with one of Mr. Khan’s agents on the very next day. Agent Aryan and Agent Unnamed arrived on a motorbike about a half-an-hour behind schedule (which is acceptable by Indian standards, right?). One look at Agent Aryan, and you could tell that this was no ordinary real-estate broker. Clad in Levi’s and donning long rock star like hair, this dude had panache written all over him. Like his boss Mr. Khan, his English was fluent and flawless.

Then the first major gotcha dawned: Agent Aryan explained that his ‘organization’ requires an up-front registration charge of 500 bucks (before any apartment is shown to me). I argued that Mr. Khan had conveniently missed this point on the phone. He said that it was probably a mistake, and tried to call up Mr. Khan. But, again, conveniently, he turned out to be unavailable. I decided to take the plunge: 500 bucks for ’showing unlimited apartments until I was satisfied’ seemed reasonable at that point.

With ‘registration’ formalities out of the way, we proceeded to the first apartment on his list. Alas, it turned out that the owner of this apartment was not in town, and had not left the keys with the guard on duty. Fear not, we have five in queue. The next one was apparently already let out, and we had missed it by a day. Fear not, four in queue. The next one actually was a sprawling 3BHK apartment at a superb location. It was still under construction, but it did look like it would be over soon. But wait, wouldn’t this be way beyond my budget? Gotcha number two: upon asking Agent Aryan, he smooth-talked me into believing that his job was limited to showing the apartments. His boss would later call me and quote the rents of all the properties I’ve liked.

The remaining two apartments they showed were of a similar kind – looked like decent apartments, but would definitely be beyond my budget, considering prevailing rents in such localities. It was then that the third major gotcha dawned upon me: none of the apartments shown had much likelihood of ultimately getting through.

However, Agent Aryan promised me that the next day he would again call me and show me some more that were about to be vacated. Realizing that this was turning out to be like any other apartment chase, I returned home dejected and disillusioned.

It was then that the fourth and final gotcha dealt the death blow: I came upon this review of MagicBricks. Fearing the worst, I tried calling up both Mr. Khan and Aryan. Not once, not twice – at least a dozen times. And my call was ignored every single time, every single day, from that day onwards.

Moral of the story: Never trust brokers who charge you a large amount up-front. For websites with property listings, only consider ones which are posted by actual owners.

I admit – I’ve been rather stupid and allowed myself to be hoodwinked. Nevertheless, the sheer suave manner in which I’ve been cheated still continues to impress me. All in all – a ‘dear diary moment’, don’t you think?

~Raj